The Truth About The "1% Woman" That Social Media Won't Tell You

Everyone's talking about how to be a "1% woman" these days, and honestly? Most of it is completely missing the point.

If you search for "1% woman habits" on social media, you'll find ENDLESS videos about designer bags, "old money" aesthetics, and rules about how to sit, walk, or talk.

But the extremely exceptional women I've met are not focused on any of that.

And let me be clear... I'm not saying I'm a 1% woman. Not even close.

But I've had the privilege of meeting badass women from all walks of life. Yeah CEOs and entrepreneurs but also stay-at-home moms raising the little humans with cool values.

When I spent two years at our resort in rural America I met a woman who had almost NOTHING to her name, but carried herself with more dignity and wisdom than any influencer preaching about "high value" living.

So in this newsletter, you’ll gain some concrete lessons I’ve learned that set apart the top 1% of women.

1. THEY MAKE PEACE WITH PARADOX

I used to feel this constant pressure to choose a "type" of woman to be. Ya know what I mean? The girlboss. The traditional feminine woman. The ambitious career woman. The nurturing mother.

If I posted about business goals I felt pressure to hide my softer side. Like I couldn't also share my love for baking or admit that I spend way too much time on room aesthetics.

When I showed my more feminine side, I worried people wouldn't take my ambitions seriously.

This internal battle became exhausting. Should I be assertive or gentle? Career-focused or relationship-oriented? I kept thinking I had to pick a lane and stay in it.

Then I started meeting these other women through my work and travels. What shocked me wasn't their achievements... it was their comfort with complexity.

I met a beauty entrepreneur who runs multiple businesses but talks about her work with such softness and heart. I watched her make tough decisions without losing her warmth and show empathy without compromising her standards.

God, society is OBSESSED with putting us in boxes.

You're either the boss babe or the nurturing mother. The career woman or the supportive wife. The feminine creative or the badass leader.

But the 1% of women refuse to choose.

At 24, I'm still figuring out my own paradoxes. Some days I'm strategizing business growth, other days I'm spending hours making my space beautiful just cuz it brings me joy. I can be ambitious about my career while still dreaming about a family someday.

So if you’re feeling torn between different parts of yourself, the answer isn't to choose. It's to make peace with ALL the contradictions that make you who you are. Sounds cheesy. But it’s true.

You can be soft AND strong. Strategic AND spontaneous. Ambitious AND nurturing.

2. THEY PRACTICE INVISIBLE DISCIPLINE

I grew up in Miami.

Where a "disciplined woman" is the girl:

1. Posting her Pilates sessions at Equinox,

2. Showing off her green juice runs in Lululemon

3. creating the perfect "day in the life" reel about manifesting abundance from her high-rise apartment.

Then I went to manage our resort in upstate New York.

Instead of women posting about their morning gratitude practice, I met Lisa living in a hotel room with three kids.

While Miami influencers were sharing their "wealth mindset tips," Lisa was stretching every dollar from her three jobs to keep her kids in school.

Heres what blew my mind... every single night, after working herself to exhaustion, she'd sit down with her kids' homework. Not to post about being a #BossMom. Not for anyone to see. But because she understood something about discipline that most of us don't.

Discipline is the woman who's barely keeping it together but still shows up. It's not about how put-together you are.

Its about what you do when life is falling apart.

While we're busy posting about "that girl" lifestyle with our $80 planners, there are women OUT HERE practicing a level of discipline we can't even comprehend.

They're not worried about their Instagram aesthetic. They’re worried about survival.

The discipline I saw in upstate New York wasn't aesthetically pleasing whatsoever. It wouldn't get any likes on Instagram. But it was more real and powerful than anything I'd seen in my polished Miami world.

That character trait is so damn powerful. And in my eyes, it’s 1%.

3. THEY PROCESS IN PRIVATE, PRESENT IN PUBLIC

We live in this era of "raw authenticity" where everyone shares their mental health journey in real-time.

The crying selfies, the lengthy captions about anxiety attacks, the blow-by-blow documentation of every emotional moment.

And look, I get it. I used to think thats what being real meant.

But lemme tell you about Maria.

I met her when her business was going through a crisis. Her main investor had pulled out, she was facing layoffs, and her personal life was falling apart.

You know what she did?

She had a strict 20-minute cry session in her car every morning. Not to film it. Not to post about it. But to actually process it.

She told me later, "I don't need the world to validate my struggles. I need to work through them." OOF.

Thats when I realized the 1% of women aren't performing their healing on social media. They’re building actual resilience behind the scenes.

These women have real systems for processing emotions. They have therapists they never mention, journaling sessions they don't photograph, trusted advisors they don't name-drop.

I learned this the hard way. Last year, when my dad faced a major health setback, my first instinct was to jump on Instagram and share every detail. But then I remembered what these women taught me.

Instead, I:

• Booked a therapy session

• Called my boyfriend

• Wrote in my journal for an hour

• Made an action plan

No posts. No public updates. Just private processing.

When I did show up publicly, I could actually lead. I could help others because I'd already helped myself.

These women understand that radical authenticity isn't about showing everything. Its about showing up whole because you've done the work in private.

The strongest women I know aren't the ones documenting their breakdowns.

They’re the ones building themselves back up in private, so they can show up fully in public.

4. THEY BUILD INVISIBLE FOUNDATIONS

Everyones obsessed with the visible markers of success.

The business launch posts, the speaking engagements, the podcast features.

But the exceptional women I've met are almost obsessive about what you don't see.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm OBSESSED with building these invisible foundations. Every morning, I spend hours reading about AI developments, political systems, economic theories… the list goes on.

Do I need this for my current business? No. But when I was in a conversation about future tech trends, I could see connections others missed. I could understand implications that weren't obvious.

Thats what invisible foundations do... they give you insight that compounds over time.

I'll be honest. When I first started doing this, it felt pointless. Spending hours on blockchain completely confused. Reading about geopolitical shifts that seemed irrelevant to my daily life.

But then I started noticing something. In meetings, I could connect ideas others missed. In conversations, I could add depth that surprised people.

I started seeing opportunities hidden in the cross-pollination of different fields.

Im not just learning my industry.

Im learning everything that might impact my industry in the next decade.

Thats the real work.

5. THEY CREATE THEIR OWN SUCCESS METRICS

Graduate by 22. Six-figure salary by 25. Marriage by 28. Corner office by 30.

I used to obsess over these timelines. Used to lay awake feeling like I was falling behind, like everyone else had some secret formula I was missing. Every "30 under 30" list felt like a personal attack.

But the women who've changed the game taught me something that finally helped me breathe:

They don't just achieve success differently. They define it differently.

At 21, I had this moment that shook me. Everyone expected me to chase the traditional symbols... the prestigious title, the fancy office, the validation. But I looked at the women I admired most, and they weren't playing by anyones rules but their own.

I watched a brilliant woman turn down a position that would've made her the youngest female CEO in her industry. Everyone thought she was crazy. But she knew something they didn't...

that role would've pulled her away from the creative work that made her feel alive.

She chose to stay in a "lower" position where she had the freedom to innovate, to create, to actually enjoy her life.

That hit me hard. Because we're not just chasing success metrics... we're chasing other people's metrics. We're measuring our lives against standards we didn't even choose.

Think about it. Who decided a corner office was better than creative freedom?

Who decided a bigger team meant more success than a bigger impact?

Who decided your timeline had to match someone else's highlight reel?

The most liberated women I know have thrown out the whole scoreboard. They've stopped asking "What should I want?" and started asking "What do I actually want?"

Some measure success by the number of dinners they have with their kids each week. Others by how many new skills they master each year. Some by their impact on their community, even if it never makes a headline.

Im learning to do this too. And let me tell you…it's terrifying at first.

When you start measuring success by your own standards, you have to face the possibility that what you really want might disappoint other people.

But the moment you start defining success for yourself, you start actually feeling successful. Not the kind that looks good on paper. The kind that feels good in your soul.

So I want you to ask yourself: If no one was watching, if no one could judge, if success was purely about what makes you feel alive... what would your metrics be? What would you actually be working toward?

The moment you stop chasing someone else's definition of success is when you start creating something far more valuable:

a life that actually means something to you.

6. THEY HONOR THEIR SEASONS

Last year, when I was 23, my whole world stopped.

My dad fell sick, and suddenly, all those carefully planned content calendars, growth strategies, all those "hustle harder" mantras... they just felt hollow.

I made a decision that seemed crazy... I stepped back from social media. Watched my engagement tank. Saw my numbers drop.

And you know what ran through my head every single day? "You're 23. You're falling behind. Everyone else is growing, and you're just... stopping. You haven't earned the right to take this break."

I'd open Instagram and see other creators my age hitting milestone after milestone. Launching products. Growing their audiences. "Making moves."

Meanwhile, I was sitting in hospital rooms, trying to be present for my family, feeling like I was throwing away my momentum.

I kept thinking who takes a break at 23? This is supposed to be my time to grind, to build, to prove myself. I hadn't "paid my dues" yet.

But heres what I learned through that mess of a year and I mean really learned, not just as a cute quote to post:

Life has seasons.

Sometimes the season you're in isn't about visible growth. Sometimes its about surviving. Rebuilding. Being there for the people you love.

The world will tell you that your early twenties are for hustling. For grinding. For "making it happen."

But what if thats bullshit? What if your twenties can also be for showing up for your family when they need you? For figuring out what actually matters? For learning that taking a break isn't weak... its necessary?

You know what still keeps me up some nights? Not those social media metrics I lost. They don't matter anymore. But if I had chosen to prioritize them over being present during my dad's illness? That regret would've haunted me forever.

I still feel guilty sometimes, not gonna lie. There are moments when I catch myself thinking "what if"... what if I had pushed through? What if I had maintained my posting schedule?

But then I remember the most successful women I've met understand that real growth isn't always visible. That sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is step back, even when the world tells you to push forward. Even when you're "too young" to need a break.

So if you're feeling like you're falling behind because life has forced you to slow down... I see you. If you're beating yourself up because you "should" be hustling harder... I get it.

But trust me on this. Please. You don't need to earn the right to honor your seasons. You don't need to achieve some arbitrary milestone before you're allowed to rest.

The next season of growth will come.

But trying to force summer in the middle of winter won't make spring arrive any faster.

7. THEY ACCEPT SUPPORT WITHOUT SHAME

I used to be terrified of asking for help.

I had built my entire identity around being the competent one. The one who had it all together. The one who could figure anything out on her own. I wore my independence like armor.

It wasn't even about being capable. It was about being SEEN as capable.

I thought asking for help would somehow make me less impressive, less worthy of respect. Less... everything.

I remember sitting in my room some nights, overwhelmed with everything on my plate, but still sending "I'm fine" texts to everyone who asked. Still pretending I could handle it all. Still thinking that needing help was somehow a failure on my part.

Then I met my boyfriend, and everything changed.

Not in the way romantic movies tell you... not because "love fixed everything." But because for the first time, I was with someone who showed me what true strength looks like.

He taught me something through his actions... that accepting help isn't weakness, its wisdom.

I remember the first time I actually let myself be vulnerable with him, let myself admit I was struggling. I was terrified. But instead of seeing me as less, he saw me as more complete, more real. That moment changed everything for me.

It made me look at all these extraordinary women I admired differently.

I started noticing something I'd missed before... they weren't just good at giving help, they were masters at receiving it.

They had built these incredible networks of support, not by always being the strong one, but by being real. By being vulnerable. By asking for what they needed before they were desperate for it.

They taught me that true independence is about being secure enough to ask for help. Its about knowing that accepting support doesn't make you weak. It makes you strategic.

No one, absolutely no one, does it alone.

Behind every successful person is a network of people who helped her get there.

And she's not ashamed of that... shes grateful for it.

I'm still learning this. Some days, that old instinct to handle everything alone kicks in. But now I catch myself.

Your worth isn't in how much you can handle alone. Its in how wisely you build your support system. How gracefully you receive help. How honestly you can say "I need you" without feeling like it diminishes you.

Thats the kind of strength that lasts.

8. THEY LOVE THEIR PRESENT SELF

I see this everywhere on social media:

"I'll be happy when..."

When I hit this milestone. When I reach this goal. When I look like this. When I achieve that. This constant message that who we are right now isn't enough.

I used to think that's what ambition meant… being perpetually disappointed with your current self.

I thought if I accepted who I was now, I'd lose my drive to become better. Like self-love was something I had to earn.

But I've noticed something fascinating about the exceptional women I've met. They have this ability to hold two truths at once:

"I want to grow" AND "I am enough right now." "I have goals" AND "I love who I am in this moment." "I'm working on myself" AND "I don't need fixing."

They don't use self-hatred as fuel for self-improvement. They don't withhold love from their present self as motivation for change.

Because here's what I've realized:

If you can't love yourself at 70%, how will you suddenly love yourself at 100%? If you can't celebrate your progress now, what makes you think reaching your goal will magically teach you how?

The most powerful women I know don't wait to feel worthy. They don't postpone their self-love until they've checked off every box on their improvement list. They love themselves through the messy middle. Through the learning curve. Through the awkward growth phases.

They understand that you can acknowledge where you want to go without rejecting where you are.

Think about it like this:

When you're growing a garden, you don't hate the seeds while waiting for the flowers. You don't curse out the buds for not being in full bloom. You celebrate every sign of progress.

So why do we treat ourselves differently?

I'm learning to love my present self while she's:

• Stumbling through new learning curves

• Building strength at the gym

• Making mistakes in business

• Growing through relationships

• Learning hard lessons

So I want you to ask yourself: What if you didn't have to wait? What if you could love who you are right now, while still working on who you want to become? What if your worthiness wasn't something you had to earn, but something you already possess?

The fastest way to become who you want to be isn't by hating who you are.

It's by loving yourself enough to celebrate every milestone.

WHAT'S YOUR BIGGEST TAKEAWAY?

Which of these traits resonated most deeply with you? Is there one that you're already embodying or one that you're working to develop?

Email me at [email protected] and let me know. I read every response personally, and I'd love to hear your thoughts.

With gratitude,

Simi